Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Emotion: Love

The first time I heard about him I had a feeling this was my only chance. Only chance for what? I don't know. Friendship? Adventure? Hey, maybe even love.
Here's what happened.
I walked into homeroom one day in 8th grade hearing news of a new kid in the homeroom next door. Apparently he was some dorky kid with glasses.
First thought: Hey maybe this kid has low standards:D
I walk over to the homeroom next door. He was sitting in the back surronded by the group of my friends that were in that class. The kid was all ready terrified enough I'm sure it didn't help when I popped up and anxiously introduced myself.

The best/worst part of the day was the fact that I was addressing him by the name of Ryan. His name is Will. I didn't find that out until the next day at lunch. Man was I red!
I don't exactly remember why I thought his name was Ryan. I think i mistook someone saying his name was Ryan, well atleast that's what I've been telling everyone...
Bad part: I embarrassed the hell outta myself.
Good Part: Its something we always remember when people ask us when we first met and we laugh everytime.

On that first day of meeting Will I never thought we'd be where we are now.
Yeah, I had a crush on him then and every day since.
But I never thought he'd be my first love.
The first boy I wanted to spent the rest of my life with.
The only boy I want to spend the rest of my life with.
The boy I would cry over the most.
The boy who causes me to smile when ever he crosses my mind. The boy who I wouldn't be able to live with.
The only boy's parents I was nervous to meet because how are we supposed to get married if his parents hate me.
The only boy I could ever imagine myself marrying.
The boy I worry about to much.
The boy who holds me, hugse me, kisses me, confides in me.
The boy who I can tell everything to.
The boy I love.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Emotion: Sadness

Everynight I feel like this.
Not knowing what to do.
Wanting to cry but I never know what for.
The only person I want to talk about it to is Will but I never want to bother him with it.
Especially since he's on vacation. He can't be bothered with my annoying moods.
Today I think my two best friends hung out with out me. Normally that wouldn't bother someone. But I hate the feelinf of being rejected and unincluded.
They could have called.
So I try to tell Will about it and he says some shit that makes me feel worse. He didn't mean to made me feel bad. It just wasn't what I wanted to hear.
I can't handle this feeling anymore.
I feel so alone.
I miss Will so bad.
He's all I want and he's not here and he won't be for another month and a half.